From The Archives…
My friend Danny used to have a radio show when he went to St. John’s University. He was going to this bit where he debated with his co-host about whether or not people should donate toys to terminally ill children during the holidays. Danny was going to take the “you should not “side. He asked me to help out with the bit and write a few reasons why not to help sick kids. Most of the jokes were rejected becuase they were too offensive for a Catholic university radio station. Enjoy…
I’d rather put money towards a coffin.
They won’t have any energy to play after all those blood transfusions.
They shouldn’t be playing. They should be in deep thought reflecting on their tragically short life.
We should be spending that money on research, not toys.
The only thing they want is their life back, and I can’t give them that, so why bother?
I mean, at this point do you even think they can feel joy?
Terminally ill adults don’t get toys, so the kids shouldn’t get any either.
I’ll only do it if I can get the toys back after they die.
Why do we have to buy them toys? I’m sure they already have toys of their own. It’s not like all your possessions disappear as soon as you get diagnosed with leukemia.
Who’s got time to play when you’ve got your imminent death to think about?
Suck it up. Start acting like a man now, ‘cause you won’t have the opportunity to actually become one.
I’m sure most of them can buy their own toys. They’re terminally ill, not poor.
Ignore them. Eventually they go away…forever.
I’d rather spend the money on a wig for them. I’d even splurge and get them one made of real hair if that’s what they desired.
When I had the flu nobody got me diddly squat!
I don’t think most toy companies would want their products associated with pale, bald, frail, one-foot-in-the-grave children.
Why don’t their parents just buy them the toys? It’s not like they have to save up money for college.
They best toys in the world are medical supplies, and they have access to tons of that stuff.
In Canada I’d bet that the government buys all the sick kids toys. When will this country learn?
Terminally ill people deserve preferential treatment. All they did was get sick. Big whoop! I can totally get cancer or AIDS if wanted to.
The hospital provides them with a TV. That’s the greatest toy of all.
