THE DEEP END @ Union Pool (484 Union Ave, BK)
7:30.
Free. Free. Free!
Be There
Live at Comix!
My favorite thing about it is that it has fairly decent speakers, which means I no longer have to schlep around that ghetto blaster whenever I moonlight as a break dancer.
The Living Room show at Postmark Cafe
326 6th St. Brooklyn, NY 11215
8pm! 8 pm! 8 PM!
It’s totally free.
A commercial parody I wrote for the show “12 Angry Mascots” at Comix.
The Credits I copied from someone else…
STARRING: Jenn Sterger, Julia Frey, and Jess Lane
WRITTEN by: Aaron Glaser
DIRECTED by: Jordan Schulkin
SHOT by: Curious Pictures
EDITED by: Neil Janowitz
GRAPHICS by: Matt Mayer
PRODCUED by: 12 Angry Mascots
To Whom it May Concern,
Me Tarzan. Me read in trade magazine that you looking for administrative assistant. Me want you to consider me for position of administrative assistant. Tarzan recently graduate suma cum laude form NYU with BA in journalism. When Tarzan at NYU he editor of school paper for last year of school and year before last year of school. Tarzan work at internship at CNN During summer of year before last year of school. Tarzan worked as research assistant at Anderson Cooper 360 when he intern at CNN. Tarzan was good CNN intern. Tarzan also volunteer for Barack Obama campaign to help register voters last year. Tarzan go-getter and fast learner. Tarzan is people person. Me work well with ape and man. Tarzan type 40 words in minute and proficient in excel. Attached you will find a more detailed resume.
(Grunt),
Tarzan
It’s that time of the year again. Time to round up the teens like cattle and cram them into prison-like structures. It’s time to go back to school. As someone who went to and survived high school, I would like to share some of my knowledge with today’s high schoolers.
1. Don’t bring a stinky lunch. Yes, we all know stink equals flavor, but stink does not equal friendship and it certainly does not equal coolness. Please, tell your mom to just give you cash instead of that cold yet somehow bubbly stew.
2. Get Good grades. The better the college you get into the better the pot will be. Plus grandma will be so proud.
3. Try to wear some color. I know all black looks cool, but the other kids will think you’re plotting something. You don’t want that. Save your black for after school and weekends.
4. Try to get first period free so you can sleep late and last period free so you can leave early. Also, try to get a double lunch period, that way you can take a siesta.
5. Pick a bitch. You want someone weak who will not fight back. Torment him publicly. It will impress others and it’s a good way to let off some steam. Also, with right punching form, it will be good for your abs.
6. Get yourself a pair of shades to wear indoors. The women will want you, the men will respect you, and the teachers will fear you.
7. Drink you milk. You’re a growing boy, you need strong bones.
8. Start a club. Nothing looks better on a resume than the word “founder”. All you need to start a club is 10 people and a faculty advisor. Now, don’t worry, just cause you’re starting a club doesn’t mean you are going to have to do any actual work. When I was in school I started and ran the Italian film Club. We ordered Domino’s (that the school paid for!) and watched Goodfella’s every week. It was awesome.
9. Save your sick days.
10. Wear a condom.
Good luck with the school year.
Up(set)
Director/Writer: Aaron Glaser
DP/Editor: Zach Goldstien
Starring: Sarah Claspell, Michael Hartney, Kate McKinnon, Marcus Bishop-Wright, Veronica Osorio
Featuring: Aaron Glaser
